7. DRUG SCREENS

Some chemicals taken orally supposedly will mask traces of drugs in urine. Advertisers like to present their diuretic as a masking agent to make the sale. Consequently, diuretics are often mistaken for drug screens. Most herbal products claim to do a lot more than they actually do. Don't be fooled by herbal potions that claim to flush or absorb toxins.

7.1 Drug screens that work:

7.1.1 Aspirin:

According to Jeff Nightbyrd, there is testing industry data that taking 4 aspirins a few hours prior to the test might help you. ". . . aspirin interferes with the Syvia [sic] EMIT assay. It seems that aspirin absorbs at the same wavelength that NAD does which is how it interferes with the assay" (Clin Chem 34 (90) 602-606). Two reliable sources have tested aspirin and found it to interfere with the EMIT. In the future they will try to find a way to circumvent this test flaw. Until then, I certainly recommend taking advantage of the situation and using aspirin.

7.2 Drug screens that do not work:

7.2.1 Goldenseal:

Goldenseal has shown to work on occasion. However, some labs are reportedly testing for Goldenseal. Goldenseal is very unreliable, and California NORML advises against using it. Goldenseal (as a screen) only works on the TLC test, which is not used anymore.

7.2.2 Niacin:

Niacin has been shown to work on occasion. Byrd Labs tests conclude that niacin doesn't work at all. In other words, something else probably caused a negative, not the niacin.

7.2.3 Zinc sulfate:

Zinc sulfate is claimed to bond with THC metabolites, and because it's a solid, it gets passed as stool rather than urine. Jeff Nightbyrd says it does nothing. Anne Watters Pearson said "zinc sulfate is no miracle drug for pissing. Forget it."

7.3 Untested drug screens:

7.3.1 Puri-Blend (c):

Puri-Blend is claimed to "block" metabolites from entering the bloodstream and to "neutralize" all drugs in the urine. I don't believe it myself. Sold in GNC stores.

7.3.2 The Stuff (c):

The Stuff is claimed to absorb toxins in the body and block detection of true and false positives. Sold by J&J Enterprises.

8.  DOPING SAMPLES

"Doping" samples consists of spiking the sample with different chemicals. Chemicals that defeat immunoglobulin/antigen binding will cause a false negative on the EMIT. Most of these additives only work on the standard EMIT screening, not on RIA or GC/MS tests. In many cases, passing the EMIT is good enough, because they will never do a RIA or GC/MS confirmation on a sample that showed negative. I should also add that you may be watched, so don't rely on this method. You should be able to find out ahead of time if you will be supervised. Some of the following additives alter the urine's pH, and most labs now test the pH to see if the sample has been adulterated. If you are subject to random tests, you may want to carry an additive in your wallet. Additives are illegal in the state of Texas, and commercial vendors will not ship their product to Texas addresses.

8.1 Effective additives:

These additives are recommended.

8.1.1 Bleach (powdered):

Chlorinated bleach will test negative, and it's the best household additive. In an emergency, Jeff Nightbyrd recommends adding unscented bleach crystals to a diluted sample. It's recommended to grind the powdered bleach to a finer grain. 1/4 teaspoon is recommended for a 60cc sample. For liquid bleach, add six to ten drops. Bleach will throw the pH outside the normal body range; so it may be apparent that the sample was tampered with. Some bleaches foam or leave residue, so experiment with different brands before selecting which to use.

8.1.2 Klear (c):

Klear is a powdered additive. Jeff Nightbyrd, Ann Waters Pearson, and Party Hut Enterprises currently endorses Klear. It is the most advanced and least detectable. Klear will clear up THC metabolites, as well as nicotine byproducts on the EMIT. If methamphetamines are present, Klear won't help. Klear is only designed to work on the EMIT. It will also work on the RIA when there is a good time span between the urine getting spiked, and getting tested. If the RIA test is not performed on-site, there is a good chance Klear will cause a false negative. Klear can be purchased from Martha Butterfield-Jay Foundation and Party Hut Enterprizes now carries. You can also get Klear direct from Klear (the organization).

8.1.3 Water:

You can dilute your sample heavily with water. Don't confuse this with drinking water; you can also add water directly to the sample. Be sure to use hot water (between 91 and 97 degrees), they will likely take the temperature of the sample. This method isn't dependable because some facilities have the sink water shut off so people can't do this. If there is running water, they may listen to you. If you turn on the water, make it sound like you're washing your hands or something.

8.2 Ineffective additives:

These additives are not recommended. Many of these may give negative test results, but are not recommended for other reasons.

8.2.1 Ammonia:

2 ounces will render the sample negative. The pH is altered, and the ammonia odor is strong enough to be recognized.

8.2.2 Blood:

It's been said that a few drops of blood will fix your sample; it doesn't.

8.2.3 Draino:

Draino will test negative. However, Draino is NOT recommended because it doesn't work well even when half a teaspoon is added. It colors the sample blue, and will put the pH outside the normal body range. Draino foams, and leaves metal specs that must be removed.

8.2.4 Goldenseal:

A myth. Goldenseal put directly in the sample doesn't alter test results. It only turns the specimen brown. Do not dope your urine with Goldenseal. Goldenseal is more commonly used as a screen, to be consumed. See Goldenseal under section 7.2.1.

8.2.5 Hydrogen peroxide:

Industrial grade will destroy half the THC metabolites. Household strength hydrogen peroxide does nothing. 30% H2O2 may "oxidize the THC metabolite into something that would not react in the screening test and would show up as something different by GC/MS" (anon1).

8.2.6 Lemon juice:

Lemon juice is a myth; it will not change the test results.

8.2.7 Liquid soap:

Will test negative, but makes the specimen cloudy, which certainly draws suspicion.

8.2.8 Mary Jane's SuperClean 13 (c):

This additive was effective for a very short period. SuperClean had to be strong enough to beat the tests, but weak enough to be undetectable. It failed to cause a false-negative in 3% of the tests. In fact, it also causes a false-positive on the EMIT for alcohol! Don't use it.

8.2.9 Purifyit (c):

Imported from Europe, Party Hut Enterprises sells Purifyit with a money-back guarantee. PHE claims there have been no returns. Oklahoma NORML refuses to endorse this product because it has flunked too many truck drivers.

8.2.10 Sodium nitrate:

This is more effective than table salt (below), but dissolves poorly.

8.2.11 Table salt:

Two tablespoons of salt will test negative, but puts the density out of normal range. Residue can also be seen at the bottom of the cup.

8.2.12 UrinAid (c):

UrinAid, produced by Byrd Labs, is very potent and works every time for masking pot and nicotine, but not cocaine or heroin. They have recently developed a test solely to detect UrinAid. UrinAid is tested for in 5% of the labs. Oklahoma NORML has stopped selling this product because it's "too detectable."

8.2.13 Vinegar:

Adding vinegar to your sample will test negative, but also drops the pH. In fact, lowering the pH is what causes the sample to test negative. "If the urine is extremely acidic or alkaline the antigen-antibody reaction will proceed at a slower rate which COULD produce a false negative" (anon1). This method is not recommended because if you are lucky and lower the pH enough to produce a negative, there's a chance that the pH itself will also be tested.

8.2.14 Visine:

This is debatable. Byrd Labs concluded that Visine does not work. Clinton said that the lab he worked in tested Visine, and concluded that Visine works every time as a false negative for the EMIT. It can be detected due to inability of the sample to foam.

8.2.15 WD40:

Another myth. WD40 can only do harm.

8.3 Untested additives

8.3.1 Papain:

This is a papaya enzyme available over the counter. It isn't known whether this does anything. Dr. Grow said that Papain is an antibody to THC, and in theory may destroy THC when added to the urine sample. However, positive urine doesn't actually contain THC; it contains THC byproducts. Papain has not been tested, and may or may not work.

9.  SUBSTITUTION

This method works for every urine test, every time (provided that some  conditions are met). You simply give them clean urine (not yours). This works very well if you're not supervised. If you are going to be supervised, try to talk them out of it. Someone told me they were going to be monitored, and they said "I don't want you to fuckin' watch me piss!" So the supervisor waited outside; probably with his/her ear to the door to listen for opening containers. Members in active  duty are often watched as the urine flows from source to destination (but  substitution will even work on this test, as you will find out). Abbie  Hoffman, author of "Stealing This Urine Test," suggested leaving a few drops  of urine on the seat or on your shoe for as "an added measure of authenticity."

9.1 Substitution methods:

There are three methods, but two of them are painful, and you have to be determined to use them. The most common way to sneak in urine is in a concealed container.

9.1.1 Concealed container:

Simply conceal the urine. The first time you're alone with the container they give you, dump in your concealed urine. Be sure you can quietly open the container; the lab personnel may be just outside the door listening. You may be required to change into a gown. If so, a condom or douche bag holding the sample and taped around the thigh can be concealed under the gown. You can also run a plastic line from a flexible container and tape it to your urination equipment (to be gender neutral), and even piss under supervision. Females have been known to keep a condom with the urine sample in the vagina, and prick it with a sharp fingernail to piss under supervision. Be sure to keep the sample between 91  and 97 degrees.

9.1.2 Injection:

There's a way to use substitution even when you're under the strictest supervision. Athletes trying to pass tests for anabolic steroids have been known to empty their bladders, and have the substituted urine injected directly into their bladders via needle. It was shown in a motion picture like "Wildcats" or something. While theoretically possible, it's painful and subject to infection. It would certainly be the most senseless way to get clean urine into the testees bladder. If this must be done, catheterization should be used.

9.1.3 Catheterization:

First void your bladder as you would with injection. Run a thin plastic tube to the bladder. (Males must insert the tube into the opening of the penis, go through the urethra and into the bladder.) Catheterization done on females is not as unpleasant as it is for males. Then inject the clean urine into the bladder via catheter. Catheterization is less painful, safer, and more effective. Infection is still possible.

9.2 Where to get clean urine.

9.2.1 Urine from a donor:

You can substitute someone else's urine. Ask your urine donor (hopefully a friend you can trust) what drugs they've taken in the last month. They may have taken a false positive (or a true positive for that matter). Before the test, the examiner will likely ask you to list everything you've taken. If the urine ages beyond 18 hours,  deterioration becomes noticable and the lab may suspect something.

9.2.2 Powdered urine:

If you don't trust your friend's sample, or don't have any clean friends, you can get powdered urine from Martha Butterfield-Jay Foundation. It's produced by Byrd Labs, and supposedly works perfectly; however, I got MBJF's powdered urine, and it did not specify the age or gender of the original sample. Powdered urine must be prepared ahead of time. If there is a period of time that you are clean, you can make powdered urine from your own supply.

9.2.3 Dog urine:

I heard from Dr. Grow that dog urine (of all things) can be substituted, and will pass the test! However, I don't know how an age, gender, pH, or creatinine test would result. Someone was able to use dog urine for several months to pass the test. This subsection assumes you have a clean dog. I know my dog's urine wouldn't pass; he eats more weed than humans do. It would make more sense to use human urine, but dog urine provides a workable substitution in an emergency.

10.  STEALING URINE

 Speaking of stealing, people have been known to get away with stealing their sample from the tray among many other urine samples. In the case that I heard, the person being tested never got the test results, and was hired for the job that he was tested for. They wouldn't dare ask someone to re-test because they "lost" his/her urine sample. Don't expect this method to work if you are being tested for the military or if you're on parole; they have no problem violating your rights repeatedly.

11.  IF YOU FAIL

If you fail the test, raise hell. Failing the drug test has been known to make a quiet person go ballistic. You will be interviewed by a medical review official (MRO), who would try to find out why you tested positive. MRO's are NOT impartial. An MRO is an employee of the lab, and is there for quality control. They are also there to protect the lab by coercing the court into thinking that the person who failed is a drug abuser. "Anything you say to an MRO can and will be used against you" (RDW). If you fight it, your lawyer "can subpoena the proficiency testing records of the laboratory for review" (anon1). These questions should be asked about the lab you are challenging: